Pride

Today would have been Luca’s first Pride parade.

Last year at Pride, we had told a few friends we were expecting. Last year at Pride, we were so excited that this year, we would have our baby in tow to watch the parade and go to the festival.

Crazy rainbow outfit, a shirt saying he loved his mamas, pictures with scantily clad men, pictures with our friends celebrating Luca’s first pride; that was the anticipation.

Again. And again. And again.

We are reminded of how very different life is now, as compared to what it was going to be.

Last year we were in our first trimester, I was so very tired, we rode bikes to Pride and well, I was pregnant, so there was no celebratory drinks.

This year, I’m 4 months out from losing my son and still reeling from the physical and mental trauma that comes with losing Luca.

And we dive deeper down into this hole.

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